Public Workers (Late Post #2)

Why do all public workers in America hate their jobs? Okay, that was extremely general, but FUCK! I can't understand why people who work with the public are so rude. I have major issues w/North Carolina's DMV right now. MAJOR ISSUES! My DL expired on my 25th birthday but I didn't notice it until the beginning of November when I was making rental car reservations for my trip home (next week). #1 I have a Japanese DL and don't need the NC one here and #2 when I lost my wallet in August, the card was in it so I haven't seen it for it to jog my memory to renew. Well on the 1st of Nov, I mailed the DMV through this online contact chat thingy about my situation. They mailed on the 4th saying a packet was in the mail. On the 29th, still NOTHING had come. So I called this time and explain my situation. Do you know these fuckers hadn't mailed me anything! The said something had gone out in that morning's mail. What that means is they didn't want me to cuss even more so they told me they'd sent something out but in actuality they were mailing it out as we spoke. Fuckers.

So, the papers come yesterday and there is a very vague Vision Application that needs to be filled out by a Japanese doctor. I call to get some clarification and everyone who works in teh office is a total moron EVERY last person.

NOTE: (This is where the entry ended...wow, I was pissed)

Owari ni narimashita! (Late Post #1)

The test that has been causing me loads of stress and deprived me of many nights of clubbing and fun is finally over.


I am making out my Christmas lists now. I am awful at buying things for people although I like to do it. I just don't usually have a lot of confidence that they'll like the things that I get. This year I'm going to put extra special effort into choosing things for people. Since I'll be home for 3 weeks and will be doing a lot of moving around, I'll be spending a good bit of money I'm sure.

Note: After a 6 month hiatus, I've come back to my blog and I have two 1/2 finished blog postings I never published for whatever reason...today is the day for them to meet the world.

Dreams

Last night, I dreamed that I was an assistant to the Crowned Prince of Japan. He was giving soup to some needy people and it my job was to ladel out the soup and pass him the bowls. Then, he gave the bowl to them and drink a little out of it at the same time as the person he gave it to. I guess it was some kind of ritual.

Well then, he told me to get some soup. He ladeled it for me and I sat politely in seiza position and bowed as I waited for him to give me the soup. We were talking in English. Then some woman who was nearby, maybe his sister complimented me on how Japanese I looked and how my manners were better even than the Japanese. The Prince agreed and told me that he would take me for his wife. Wait..now that think about it, the woman was a Korean woman who he was to take as his wife. He had the lady escorted away and then finished serving me soup.

At this point I started freaking out a bit and getting nervous because I was just being polite. I had no intentions of being his wife. Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder and BB's voice say, "It's me, I need you to wake up now." He just held my shoulder and kept saying it over and over again but in this intense wheezy voice. It wasn't comforting at all. It was rather scary. It wasn't a posessive thing like, "you my woman, you betta wake up" it was like he was in trouble.

Shortly thereafter I woke up, and realized it was a dream and 5am! But his tone scared me so bad and gave me such an awful feeling that I called him anyway. He was sleeping fine. I told him I'd explain the dream later and we both went back to bed.

What a freaky dream. I could just blog about my dreams as of late. They've been quite vivid and really off the wall. But, I have a feeling that would make for a whole new blog. Off to do something productive at work... Jah.

BB's Guest Blog

Hello world. Today is my very first blog experience. I wouldn't be blogging at all if my girlfriend of 5 weeks didn't force me. So, I'm here.

I've read a few other people's blogs and usually find something interesting. I really need to be studying for this Japanese Proficiency examination I take in 2 weeks. I've been procrastinating about studying because 1) I really hate studying, 2) I may not pass and if I put alot of work into studying and don't pass I'm going to be pissed, 3) I have the attention span of a 10 year-old and spend about 40% of my waking hours daydreaming. I try to start studying but after about 10 minutes my mind drifts to me winning the lottery, being physically enhanced by aliens and becoming an all-star basketball player, joining the US National Soccer team and also winning Wimbledon and the US Open all in the same year. I can go on for hours with these dreams and sometimes actually get mad if someone disturbs me for something like....work.

So, enough procrastination! I should go study, but really want to go and play basketball. However, due to the fact that I have contracted some kind of nasty bug that is causing all kinds of phlegm to congest my chest, it is probably best for me to chill in the house and continue to let my girlfriend clip my toenails.

Until the next time.....

I love Japanese TV. I'm supposed to be studying...I know. But I absolutely love the randome-ness of the television programs they have. They have this one Trivia show, where they have these different Stars come one and they present Random facts to them. I think its called "Heeeeeey". In Japanese, you say "Heeeeey"when someone tells you something you didn't know before or shocked you or...well its tough to explain. Sorry.

But my two favorite trivias were as follows: "What is the sex of the sports logo PUMA's cat?" They called the PUMA headquarters...they didnt know. They went to the zoo in Japan that cares for African PUMAs (not sure if they are actually from anywhere else, ignorance on my part) and asked they could tell the sex of the logo animal. They didn't know either. So then went to America and gathered 6 scientists who specialized in the cats who then enlarged the logo from a sneaker to the size of a blackboard, then actually made a life size scale of the enlarged outline...and after much debate (hours i think) they finally agreed that it was female.

The next was..."Did you know that there is an All Japan Grocery Clerk Conference" And in this conference 23 finalists compete for 1st prize in a "Clerk-off" contest. It was ridiculously funny. Very difficult to describe in English, because the whole grocery shopping experience (and you can justifiably call it an experience) is one that we don't experience in America.

Anyway...not sure how well I described my Japanese TV experience tonight, but hey...I enjoyed it. The highlight of the night is certainly my 10pm date with Sydney and my friends on ALIAS. I really look forward to Wednesday nights and watching ALIAS and tonight was no exception. That damn Syd is my role model. They were in Tokyo for a spell in tonights episode. Her accent was horrid, but who cares...she's SYDNEY for goodness sake.

I'm done babbling. Showering. Washing my belly. Going to bed.

JA.

SENSEI-GATA: Mochizuki-kyoto sensei, Ken-sensei,Yoshiro-sensei,Shinkai-kyoto sensei Kasai-kocho sensei, Takashi-sensei and Eboni-sensei 

What's a winter wedding in Japan without Christmas Cake? 

Chizuko Sakai and her newly wed husband Yuichi Sakai. Don't they look great! 

First times for everything

I've been here in Kamikuishiki for 2 years and 3 months and today was the first time I've EVER been asked to go for a meal with my neighbor. She's not only a neighbor but the teacher I sit next to and teach with EVERYDAY. We have definitely come a long way as far as communication goes but today was an interesting first for us. I mean, we've gone to dinner with other teachers after school sometimes on the way home from work, but never have we gone out together for anything. Actually, she invited me to her wedding last year. That was cool because #1 I got to see a Japanese wedding and #2 I got to see her in a whole new light.

It's been interesting getting to know each other, learning each others ways and all but it was really nice to be invited out to lunch today. Her husband is so funny. He wants to learn English, but he basically just sat and chatted in Japanese most of the time; when he did speak. She said he usually talks more than she does when its just the two of them, but "He's just like a typical Japanese man" and gets very shy around people he doesnt know well. Funny thing is HE was the one who told her to invite me to eat.

Here are a few pictures from the wedding.

Enough procrastination...study time (;_;)

Movin' on up!

On December 5, I'm taking Level 2 of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT). I started my intense study regiment on Tuesday. I have a grammer book with 14 tests in it that I need to get through before my exam, so I am studying between 11-18 NEW grammar points a day and taking a test each day. After every 4 tests I take a cumulative test. Here are my grades so far:

Tuesday: no test
Wednesday: 57%
Thursday: 63%
Friday: 93%

Needless to say, I'm very happy with my progress thus far and hope that I retain the things I've learned enough to do well on this exam. I've got two reading practice essays to read tonight, then I'm going to watch Shrek while drinking a little ume shu and go to bed early!!!

Yeah for studying and drinking! Ja ne.

My Freddy: He's my other new favorite thing! 

My new favorite thing! It's perfect. It so cool to look down and see a jeweled tummy. Very pleased with my decision.

Fred and Wilma. Jody and I were the Bedrock's favorite couple: The Flintstones. We made our costumes by hand. He designed and sewed his, and I mine. Watch out P Diddy and J Lo!
 

Big Changes. Small Changes.

Okay. I'm awful. I know. It's been way too long and way too much has happened in the last few months to really give the long and detailed so I'll give the short and dirty.

I'm a soccer champion! My women's soccer team took home the first prize in the Japan ALT Women's Football Tournamen! VERY excited about that. Last fall we took 3rd. In the spring 2nd. And finally brought home the big one and a few cases of beer to Yamanashi. It was a very wet and crazy weekend but well worth it all.

I'm taking a linguistics course! It's a linguistics course that focuses on the Japanese language. It's very interesting but takes a lot of time to study appropriately for it. I got A's on my first two homework assignments, just sent in the third and just got the books for month four now.

I have a TEST in December! I'm taking 2kyu of the Japanese Language Proficency Test. I took 3 last year and passed. 2 is a huge jump in content and difficulty but I'm studying VERY hard for this last month in order to pass. Because of that linguistics course, I haven't been able to study like I wanted. And since I've been getting good marks in the course, I wanted to continue to put as much into it as I could so my studying for this exam has been cut back. But for the next 25 days...its JLPT TIME.

I have a boyfriend now! After a year and some change of back and forth "open relationship", if you will, BB and I are officially a couple. VERY HAPPY about that. He's a great boyfriend. I knew he would be. I'm going to meet the fam during the holidays so its pretty big for both of us and we are both very happy.

I'm going HOME! First at Christmas, then for good in August. I decided when I was in Europe that Japan was just too "samui" for me. The cold weather. How long it takes to warm up the people to actually make friends. I'm tired of it. I need to feel the warmth. So, I'm leaving Japan. Where I'm going next is still a mystery, but the big part, the decision to leave has been made and I'm very very happy about that.

I have a hole in my belly! That's my most recent one and the one I'm the most excited about. (Next to being with BB!) I absolutely love it. I don't know why I waited so long to get it done. It looks like its been there forever.

Well, that's enough updating for now. Will post pictures later!!!

The vacation of all vacations.

Yo...London was definitely off the chain. Expensive as hell (can I get a loan) but off the meter! I´m talking so crazy that B´s bank called him on Sunday morning and asked him if he was still in possession of his credit card because there was so much abnormal activity on it! Now how is that for ridiculous.

We went to a place called 10 room the first night where I met me a Bermudan hottie. I guess the London dudes are too shy to holla but the guy from Bermuda and his buddy were really cool. They hung out with us for most of the night. But one of the best things that happened was Julian Marley (one of Bob´s sons) was there and performed for us. It was quite cool and the most randome part was, he was wearing a skully with a Carolina emblem on it. RANDOME. Of course we took pictures. I´ll have to post those when I get back.

The second night we went to Funky Budda which was very ritzy. At first the club was jam packed with a bunch of drunk females but as the night wore on, it diversified. All in all not enough brown people for my liking, but it didnt really matter because I was so drunk by the end of the night I could have danced with Martians. B had us in VIP where you have bottle service only. Since we´d started out the night with Appleton´s rum and coke at the apartment, we kept it going. B ordered a bottle of Absolute Mandarin and Appleton´s. We got to mix our own drinks, which could have been the key to my demise... It was a good drunk though because I remember everything. The photos will be great...

I´m in Barcelona now...eating crackers...and soaking up the loving vibes. Its like everyone here is a couple, kissing, holding hands...just love. So I´m living out my desires vicariously through them. It doesnt look like Barcelona is the party spot during the week. So I´ll be drinking and eating at bars and local places, which is cool too. I went to a Gaudi Park today and to see a famous church he half built. On the way to the church, I got picked up by too old Spaniards and taken for a coke at a little restaurant nearby. Couldn´t understand shit that said except bonita, morena, and guapa (selective understanding...) but it was cool until they started asking me if I could spend the evening with them. At that point, I politely thanked them for my soda and got the hell out of dodge.

Curlers, blowdryer, flatirons...none work here even with my plug converter so I´m head wrapping it. Call me Erykah. I only have 2 that are long enough to wrap properly so they´ll have to go with everything.

Well, let me go find some dinner...maybe crackers.

Ciao.

I'd like to blog today and have a lot to say about my great weekend, thoughtful friends, and presents, over eating, over drinking and not leaving the last club we went to until 11...but my brain is not ready to process it into prose which would be intelligible. So I'll wait.

Ja

OMEDETO!!!!

In 10 mins, it will be my 25th birthday (in Japan time). Am I excited? UMMM. YESSSS!

I've gotten some cute little handmade gifts from my students, an nice necklace from Yumie and an email from my Granma already. I feel loved.

25 is going to be great...I can just feel it.

(more later...)

ja.

Proud to be an AMERICAN

I love my country! I don't care what anyone says about The United States of America. We have an awesome ass country and I'm proud to be an American. Just have a look at this and you'll see what I'm so siked about.

I have been watching the Olympics like the avid sports fan that I am and my country has certainly made me proud. Whippin' ass and not even worried about taking names. And why should we? The teams/individuals we whip are probably just gonna talk shit about us later anyway. (sorry for all the 4, or less, letter words)

I'm actually quite sad because the Olympics has kept me quite amuzed (and up very late) the last few weeks. Its great to be able to watch TV that you don't really have to concentrate, or basically feel like you are studying while watching it. The Japanese commentators are actually quite funny when there are Japanese athletes up, but suck for commentating events not starring Japanese.

Well, back to Wrestling, Rhymic Gymnastics, Syncronized Swimming Team, Track and Field, Basketball and a quick run to Good Ole' American Micky D's for a patriotic but extremely unhealthy dinner.

Cheers and big ups to my Golden Girls of the USA Women's Football team. You make me wanna burn up my cleats in reverence!

Jah.

Steve, Yeji, JB and Me at Loose. That Steve and Yeji. Two very very cool PCs...naritai ne... 

Kenton, AC and Eb at Tokyo Loose during Tokyo Orientation (for the new ALTs).  

Friends Old Become New

I've re-discovered a long lost friend. In 2002 before I left the States, I was given a Palm m505 (that I bascially begged for) by my friend TJ. I LOVED that thing, and used it all the time, downloaded all kinds of cool games and programs. My life was OR-GAN-IZED. Then when I got to Japan my lifestyle did not warrant the need for such organization. So...I put my m505 in a drawer and left her lonely. . .for 2 years! I was fiddling around in a randome (sic) drawer and found her!!!

I have resurrected my m505. I had to get a lot of information re-synced but my life is on the way to being over organized again. I'm such a electronic games/gadgits junky and didn't realize how much of my memory space is just filled with games. I must just be the kid in me.

Tomorrow is Saturday. I'll be cleaning house and actually getting a few things on my "To Do" list done. I still have yet to tell my BOE about my "lost" wallet or the cards that need to be replaced, but I need to get back to the dentist so I guess I'll build up the nerve (and make up a good story) to tell them on Monday. Planning for London and Spain has been in word only the last few days. I've not had any meetings, conferences, or concrete plans this week so I've been vegging out watching bad Japanese TV Dramas and playing Spades online.

MY BUDDY IS COMING!!! JH will finally get here on Sunday. I'm excited to have a friend from home here in Japan. Some of the folks I met here are cool, but its good to have someone who knows you from "The Real World". I think I've said this before, but Japan does feel real to me. Not even after two years.

Rediscovering two good friend(s)/ships within a week's time. What more could a girl ask for?

Jah ne.

Hot vs. Warm

Tokyo was hot. No, like really hot as hell. Its been 30 degrees PLUS for the past 31 days. I didn't even get a chance to hop in the pool this time around. I wanted to go up to the lakes today but there is another typhoon passing thru and its raining like cats and dogs. I hope this passes soon though because I'm a friend over this weekend.

I just finished reading Obrigadabrasil and one of Chandi's guest posts that has me totally looking at my planner trying to figure out if I can hop a plan to Brasil sometime in the coming year. I guess she isn't an attorney for no reason, I'm totally persuaded. I literally read the post like 3 times trying to relish in her experience. "Warm" is what she referred to it as. I've never had such a longing to be warm in all my life. Thanks Chandi.

Jah.

E. 

BB. 

My Granma is the coolest.

I don't know anyone who has a Granma that uses Instant Messenger, except me. She forgot which messenger we used to use and had been sending me allthese messages in Yahoo! but before we used to chat on AOL. Sheemailed me asking why I never sign on anymore and was telling me how she signs on everyday to catch me but I'm never tehre. It was funny to me but when you have a 72 year old Grandm who even attempts to #1. Deal with computers period and #2 Chat on IM... you just gotta be proud.

Speaking of people to be proud of, my best friend is such a strong and beautiful woman. She has had so many tribulations lately though. She can't get a job she wants, her daughter is living with her mom while shes on the grind trying to work it out for the them, the men in her life are shit and she has the worst luck. She just found out yesterday that she didn't get a job she was really banking on and it crushed her. I just pray that she has some sunshine in her life. I'm glad she has her daughter in her life but I hope that she gets some more joy in her life. Its tough when bad stuff happens to good folks. It's hard for me to find stuff to say to her to encourage here because I really dont know any of her struggles (except the financial ones, but mine are for other reasons). I'm proud of her though because she has grown up a lot. She is a good mother and person and I hope some good things happen to her soon. God knows she needs it.

Well, I'm headed up to Tokyo to meet the second group of new ALTs today. It should be a fun time. I'm going to meet up with Schwartz one last time before he heads back to the states sometime this weekend too. I really enjoyed having him here this summer. Its hard when your friends leave but, I have a feeling he and I will stay in touch for a few more years to come even if oceans separate us.

Jah.

I've been a very Lazy Lucy lately. (do I get points for using three L's in a row) I've had plenty of time and been relaxing the last few days. I guess I'm just happy to not have a full schedule. But alas, all good things must come to an end. From tomorrow I head back in to Tokyo for the Group B Orientation for new JETs. I'm an assistant this time instead of just going to help  out with JETs Ad stuff.

I talked to my sister yesterday and the surprise party for mom is off. I wanted to throw her a big 50 party and surprise her by flying home, but Caroll told me that mom doesn't want a party. She said all she wants for her birthday is to have all her family home. If I go home in October (right after my expensive Europe trip that has me eating Ritz and noodles right now) I'd only be able to stay home for like 4 days. So, it has been decided that I head home for Christmas instead. So home for the holidays, I'll be.

#1 Fan

David Beckham is my boo! THAT is a good looking dude. I'm sitting here watching the REAL Madrid V. JEF United Exhibition game and he is just a specimen. I'll have to echo my soror's comment about men who play soccer, they are just plain fit. I swear, out professional athletes soccer players are some of my favorites. I can't wait to go to Spain.

 
Jah.

Jumpers
 
Yesterday as my train home from Tokyo was pulling into Hachioji Station, we hit a suicidal jumper. I was in the first car pulling in so it was MY car that hit her. This was a 5 o'clock limited express train that travels one of the busiest routes in Tokyo. From what I was told it happens a lot too. I was sleep when we first pulled in but I heard the chimes saying we were arriving at the station and that woke me up. A second later the train stopped short and they announced that they'd hit a person who jumped onto the tracks. On the platform, train workers were putting on special plastic uniform things and then ran out onto the track. It was then that I looked out the window and toward the front of the train that I saw the young woman (whose body/clothes looked to be no older than that of a 30 year old) laying face down. All of the people on the platform opposite us had an even clearer view of the atrocity.  

I'd heard about folks committing suicide on the trains lines before and have even been on some trains that have been stopped because of the jumpers but never have I seen one fall or the reaction of the people around the scene. What appaulled me more than the fact that she jumped was the people laughing and pushing to try to get a glimpse of her. The train workers were trying to get people to pull down the shades on their windows but they wouldn't do it. Then worse of all I saw a teenage girl taking a photo of the body on her cell phone. Un-fucking-believable.

Root Canal. That is the word for the day. I had some infection under a filling in my molar and now I've begun the process of getting a root canal done on that tooth. Of course Japanese pain meds are SHIT and don't stop any pain at all. I guess my dentist remembered I said that from the last time I went in to see her and asked me if I still had any of my "special medicine" (which was really only ibuprofen). I told her not to worry about it. I got the "stuff" at the crib.

 

Oh what a night!
 
Last night, we had our end of the semester party at my school. It wasn't actually at the school though. We went bowling and then to dinner at a really nice sushi restaurant. I wasn't driving so of course I got pretty drunk. Actually this is the drunkest I've been at an enkai (drinking party) ever. The lucky thing is, where the Japanese folks turn all red when they get wasted, I stay my same beautiful brown (thanks to the sun this weekend) color. The only give away is I run my mouth a mile a minute. I started off with a half and half (1/2 pale ale 1/2 dark), then had a red wine (which i wasn't feeling)  and went back to the beer. The principal sat across from me and he and I talked a lot drinking all the way.

I woke up this morning from my drunken stupor and realized I'd sent a bunch of emails on my cell phone I didn't remember sending.  Then I saw my call log and felt awful because I was pretty sure from the tone of my emails the calling was just as unpleasant. To my surprise, (after I sent the "I'm sorry for being stupid when I'm drinking" mail) BB said I wasn't mean at all. He said the conversation was "quite pleasant".  So that's good. Very suprising, but good.  Someone should really confiscate my cell at drinking parties so things like last night don't happen. I still haven't heard back from E yet today.  I sent her the same I'm sorry email this morning. 

Somehow I managed to crack a filling in one of my molars last night. Its killing me today, I'm hungry and my appointment isn't until 3. I'm going for lunch w/Charlotte (Is eating all she and I do?)  in a few so I have to go get ready.  I guess I'll have soup or something.

Jah.

*if jah is standing by my side, then why should i be 'fraid..."*

The Questions

One of my students just passed slam out in the middle of giving his speech! We had our closing ceremony a minute ago and Shota (my student) was at the end of his speech and all of a sudden, collapsed, he fell backwards (the student who was behind him moved out of the way) and hit his head on the blackboard!  We usually have our ceremonies in the gym but because of the heat, we did it in the music room since its the next biggest room. Half the kids were staring in shock, one little girl got so scared she ran to the back of the room covering up her face. The teachers all rushed to him (creating more heat around him) then finally someone ran to get the stretcher and took him to the nurse's room. His homeroom teachers went out with him and as soon as he left the room they continued with the rest of the ceremony like nothing happened.

Question#1:  Why is it that in a school of 55 (small as it may be) there is only 1 fan in the school and that is in the teachers room?

Question#2: Why in temperatures reaching the 90's the past few days haven't the students been able to use their personal fans since there are not any at the school?

Question #3: Why in the year 2004 when temperatures reach close to 100 every year, are there no Air Conditioners at school?

Question#4: When you have a Japanese English teacher, is a foreign English teacher more important than making sure students temperatures dont reach levels where they are passing out at 9am? Couldn't the salary they pay me foot the bill for some fans at least?

Shout outs: Now like Tom Joyner, I don't usually do shout outs, but I have a special request from the audience. I'd like to take a second to shout out a buddy of mine from college who will soon be joining me in the J.   Where you at Hov?

I'm pretty tired as I'm just getting in from a nice, but tiring two days but I had to journal quickly about  a friend I had to say goodbye to last night. This guy is more than amazing. Just one of the most down folks I've ever met. From the night we met... me amazingly drunk and none of my friends around, he kinda drunk, but sober enough to look after me until BB showed up to take me home...we connected. Now, 10 months later I feel like I've known him longer than that. He's been a good friend and one of the few people who party as hard as I do!!! He's off to NY to hit up grad school and I'm sure we will meet again in this life.
 
Goodbye Richie. Have a safe journey. Safira Salama. Sayonara.
 
Jya ne.
 
(Speaking of Jah, I'm reading this book called "Born Fi' Dead" about Jamaican Posse/Gang Violence. Pick it up. Deep shit going down.)

I'm sitting here trying to type on a Japanese system computer and its driving me nuts. I can not find the apostrophe so no conjunctions or possessives which just makes typing a little more difficult because I have to think of other words. piss.
 
Anyway, yesterday I bought two travel books at Tower Records in Shibuya. They have a really great book store on the 7th floor that I frequent. It is probably the most thorough of all the English sections I have found in Tokyo. I got a Frommers Barcelona, Madrid and Seville and a Lonely Planet London.  The  Spain book has really got me excited. Although I read about a horrible incident of racial profiling 2 years ago against this African American musician who was there playing with a symphony. He fit the description of a car theif the police were looking for. 4 cops jumped him, whooped his ass, and basically said Sorry the next day. The thing is, and Frommers also included this, that this type of thing is happening all over the world now. Lots of people are moving around trying to find peace, while others are afraid the newcomers are there to create havoc or bring terror. Its a sad state we are living in right now.
 
I did not think I was going to like the Frommers book before because I had never tried them but they are actually quite good.  They have very helpful check lists and interesting stories from other travellers. (I found the apostrophe)  The only thing I found that seems to be lacking is advice for travellers on a budget (are there two l's in a travellers?)
 
Alright. Time to get dressed for the day, grab some grub and head w/the crew a la playa. (that's today's attempt at Spanish) I'm listening to Launch on Yahoo and Juvenille's "Slow Motion" is on. Good Song.
 
OH, I almost forgot! I went to the Joe concert last night. AWESOME!!! Joe isn't the most charasmatic artist or anything but he sure can sing. I MEAN. Just a beautiful voice. Not to say that he is street trash either. Maybe charasmatic isn't the right word. He just feels like a homeboy ya know? Not really STAR acting, which I like. We met him before the concert and he knows Romy pretty well and I think he met E before, but it was my first time. I had my booty jeans on too. My rear view mirror jeans, that make objects appear larger than they really are. It was cool though. Joe sings lots of lovey stuff though, so of course I shed a tear for lost love. Its still new. But great concert overall.
 

Need I say more? 

I woke up this morning with BB on my mind. In-freakin-escapable! It makes me angry to even wake up with him on my mind because he just doesn't deserve to be there. Maybe something in my subconcious needs to be settled with him because everynight for the last week I have waken to some memory of a dream and he's been in it. I'll see him this weekend at the beach and if I can't deal I'll just leave, but I hope it doesn't get that bad. I haven't talked to him in almost two weeks and have absolutely no desire to. Maybe its just knowing that I'll see him this weekend that is bothering me. If I'm feeling weird Sunday I just won't even go.
 
It's vacation time again!!! As a 25th birthday present to myself, I've booked my tickets to...(drumroll please) England and Spain!  I'll be in Europe for 12 days in September visiting my college buddy and some friends from JET. I was supposed to be meeting up with an old friend in Spain, but it looks like that's not going to work out. No worries there though because I am up for making new friends. I'm still trying to plan where I'd like to go and hopefully will pick up some travel books when I head into Tokyo today. I'd like to do something significant for the 25 years of my life. Meet 25 new friends? Collect 25 stones? Buy 25 stickers (I'm a huge sticker freak)? I don't know but whatever it is will be cool.
 
RANDOME: Why did I find Boone's Farms in Don Quixote (like a Japanese Wal*Mart)? And it was only like $400. Cheap shit where ever you are in the world. I'm sitting here talking junk, but you know I picked up a Strawberry Daquiri for the crib right? I would have bought another bottle but I'm not expecting company anytime soon, and I don't want all that sweet liquor in the house.
 
I went to dinner with Charlotte last night. On the way to the restaurant we stopped by MY store, this place called Bicky that sells lots of cute little stuff that actually fits me well.  At a little shop next to Bicky was a T-shirt I wanted to buy sooooo badly. But it was really just way too small. The photo is above.

Just got back in from a nice little dinner at The Solar Cafe . Just in time to turn on the 8pm movie Message In A Bottle. It just started but it looks to be a sappy girlie movie. Which is cool sometimes but I'm not in a mood to really enjoy a sappy movie. Not in a bad mood, just not in a sappy mood.

I've been eating a lot lately. I don't know why in the world I've been so hungry lately but I have. It's a good thing I dont keep much food here (other than ice cream) or there would be great potential to become a fatass.

It's only Thursday night but I kinda feel like its the weekend already. I guess its because I don't have any more lessons to plan. I have two more days of classes and I'm home free! Well for 30 days at least. That's all we get up here in Kamiku for the summer vacation but I'll take it with no complaints. We have a long weekend this because Monday is a holiday. What holiday? I'm not quite sure, but what I do know is we don't have school. Yatta!

I've got a action packed weekend planned. Well, maybe not so action packed but it should be a lot of fun. On Saturday, I'm going to the Joe concert in Ebisu with E and Romy. I saw Joe the last time he was here with E. She met his manager in some randome fashion and ended up getting us tickets and backstage passes. E, Romy and I are going to do a girl's day and then the concert. I'm not staying out all night after the show because I'm headed to a beach in Chiba on Sunday with some folks so I want to be rested. I'm going to stay at a friend's house and get up early to meet for the beach. Then Sunday night for the grand finale to my weekend, I'm staying at my namesake's place in Tokyo. Rest up a little after the beach and go to a Salsa Event at Velfarre. A friend/soror is dancing. She's a wonderful dancer and I'm so looking forward to seeing her perform. There is a dancing clinic at 7:30 and the show starts at 10. She also got me on the guest list for the night for what would have cost me 3,000 so that's nice too.

I guess I'll burn a little chandan, enjoy the fresh breeze blowing in from my balcony which sitting in my recliner and watch the rest of this movie. Its so nice to have a full belly and a night ahead of you with nothing particular to do. Iiiii na.

Jah.

feeling a bit nostaligic. never really blogged about my trip to malaysia except for the rant a few days while i was there. anyway, tonight i wanted to share one of my favorites. on a small island off the coast of singapore (i forgot the name) QT and i found ourselves biking around. we came across this hut on our trial. which ironically we were thirsty and no one was to be found to sell us drinks other than a sickly looking black dog. 

My name sake in Tokyo just sent me the funniest link!!! Let's call it Swagger... okay, so what you've gotta do is to go to the link, and then click the start button...you've got to keep my man steady...lemme know how far you get!

i'm gonna keep practicing!

Jah.

the new me. akiko-chan desu. yoroshiku. 

Let me describe for you my day at the gynecologist in Japan. This post is not for the squeamish.

Today I finally got up the nerve to go get my bi-annual female examination. Not that I was worried that anything was wrong medically, I'd just heard so many horror stories about the Japanese Gynecologist. And today proved they were all true.

Usually when I go in for my examination I get all the tests done: Pap Smear, STD (general), HIV, and pregnancy. Today, I asked for the same tests. I don't know these terms in Japanese so I couldn't explain it to the nurse. She had to call the doctor to help me fill out my forms. I get called back to speak with the doctor who is about a million and half years old. No, I mean literally a million. This guy was so old (How old was he?) He was so old...I think he helped deliver Jesus. Dr. Park's is what he calls himself. He lived in America over 30 years ago he said, but isn't as good as English as he was back then (yeah think?!).

So, I start telling him the tests I want: first I say Pap Smear. He writes it down and says okay. Next I say HIV. He looks up and me and cringes simultaneously. Then asks "Do you have any symptoms?" I say "No, but I like to get test regularly." He looks at me with a "Yeah, right" expression and writes it down. Then I said I wanted the general STD culture done. He cringes again, taking a little longer to look up at me and starts asking me if I have all these different types of discharge and spots and shit and I'm like "No, these are just test to make sure I don't have anything and am asymptomatic!" Another "yeah right" expression and he rights it down.

He orders the nurses around and then tells me to go into this room and take my bottom clothes off. I go into this room where there is stirrups chair but when there is a curtain in front of the seat so that when I sit down I can't see him, the nurses, nothing. And they have me hiked up so damn high in the chair I felt the blood rushing to my head. I asked them to open the curtain but he goes into this long story about customs in Japan that I was SOOO not interested in. Bottom line: He didn't open it.

This dude didn't use any lubrication, just shoved his damn instruments and hands whereever, didn't tell me what he was doing or when he was going to do something different, just kept digging and shit. NOT FUN! Then all of a sudden, he goes "Are you married?"

At this point I get scared. Dude has been poking and mess for like 10 minutes and busts out with "Are you married?" What would YOU be thinking? I tell him I'm not and he rips back the curtain to show me an ultrasound screen. He explains that I'm not pregnant and I have a healthy uterus then gives me a photo taken from the ultrasound screen. Now, I've heard of urine tests for pregnancy, but this was my first ultrasound. Kinda strange I thought at first, but what a way to know for sure. Even less of a chance for error than the urine test so that's comforting. He finishes up and tells me to get dressed. They take my blood pressure and then the blood sample with that terribly long hateful syringe and I'm done.

I'll go back on Friday to get results from the first set of tests and the HIV next week. I never hated the gynecologist before but I do now. Hopefully I'll be in the US the next time I need an exam. Men just don't even realize how uncomfortable and unnerving it is to have a random man "down there". My doctors have always made it a point to make me feel comfortable, but that's not the "Japanese Way" I assume. I'd always choose making sure I'm healthy over my comfort level, but it still sucks to feel the way I did today. Now I see why Japanese women wait until they are about 25 to get their first gyneological exam. NOT an exaggeration!!!

Ja ne...

As you can see from the photos, the Sayonara Party costume turned out great! Aside from the blue wig, which I hoped would have been blond or brown it all pulled together quite nicely. I mean, blue wasn't bad because it gave me a whole look I wasn't necessarily going for but it wasn't QUITE the Ganguro Look I was going for.

The party was fun. The costumes weren't as original as I'd hoped they'd be. There were a lot of women with yukata on and men with Jimbe or male kimono on, a shit load of construction workers, a vending machine (very cute/original), a japanese flag, a school girl, a highway (complete with cars, cones, and REAL road signs), a samurai or two, and a onsen bathing man (quite naked, very cute butt!). It was held at this restaurant called Solar Cafe. Its an organic restaurant with a garden right there in front of the building and even has a vegan menu. It was my first time going there but would love to go back on a non-event night to have dinner. The pizza was awesome and they sell Dr. Bonners SOAP! And all kinds of other herbs (SMILE!). Who knew? Herbal Greatness Right in my own back yard..."Ahhh shiawase"

Ja ne.

Yamamba and Ambiqiously Ethnic Turban Dude 

E&J 

Ganguro Gal and Some randome Japanese Actor 

Friday night Black Rose Productions (Erica and Mo) had a party at The Nature in Roppongi. The girls usually do the parties on the first Friday of every month but this weekend they did it on the second Friday so it could be in conjunction with Erica's Birthday. At first E wasn't feeling the party as being her actual bday celebration but I'd decided this was going to have to be it because I had Sayonara party to go to Saturday and couldn't kick it all weekend. So...I went a little bit behind the scenes and called in some favors and friends so we could make it a good night for E.

First I called Romy, who helped me with the cake and balloons (of which 1 helium balloon cost about $5!). Then I called the DJs and asked each of them to do a short 30 min or so, old skool hip hop set in tribute to E, cause she is such a huge hip hop head. Then I made the hotel reservations and everything just worked out from there. E, Mo, Ameenah and I were all set to stay in the room (which didn't happen but I'm not even going there) kick it all night and head to lunch the next day. All plans were in motion.

To make a long story short, although I hate Nature, the nite was good. The music was tight. Some of my friends and E's rolled thru and it was a cool little party. I wasn't able to do my "rounds" on the strip like I usually do, but that was fine because I was chillin' with my peoples. I got E a necklace, earrings and a t-shirt for her birthday which I hope she liked. She seemed like she did. It ended up just being me and her going to eat at her favorite restaurant in Roppongi Tony Roma's. After we ate the manager who knows her brought out an ice cream brownie and everyone sang "Happy Birthday". Although it was still about 2 days early, I think E had a good little bday. She spent Saturday with Mo at some club in Yokohama. Its cool to be able to have a good birthday around your friends. It will truly be her day in about 3 hours so until then I'll do the count down to the midnite call. \(*.*)/

Happy Birthday Little Sister! 

I am going to a Sayonara party on Saturday and the theme is "JAPAN". Very vague. I know. And I've been plagued for quite sometime trying to figure out what to be. But alas, I have decided. See the strange, bleached hair, white makeup Japanese girls in this picture? I'm going as one of them! I still haven't figured the hair part out yet, but I'm doing a practice make up run tonight and I'll work out the rest of my costume tomorrow. Wish me luck! 

My friend G got married May 30th. He sent me photos from the wedding. They are just georgous. It looks like it was a very nice day and he and his bride look very happy. Its an interesting emotion seeing someone you used to date get married. The biggest thing I feel though is happiness because I feel that G has been ready and waiting on that someone who was also ready. Then along came "The One" and the rest is history.

It's so cool when it works out that way. That's the way it should happen. But what about those of us who its not so easy for? What about when "The One" comes along and both of you realize it, so you run from it. For personally selfish reasons you aren't ready to commit but can't help but feeling bitten by "The Love Bug". You are bitten. There is no doubt about it and soon your body starts to react to the bite. It is slowly being infected by its love serum. The more you try to ignore its power, the harder it becomes to function normally. But still personal desires keep you from completely submitting to the power of love. So you wait and you suffer.

Doesn't that version just suck.

Congratulations G and T. I wish you all the happiness that true love can bring and more. May your union be blessed with trials and celebrations so that you may appreciate the companion you have been given and may you always remember that your partner is your special gift. Treasure each other like no other thing you've ever been given because this one is extra special.

Ja...

Why in the hell is it already 85 degrees at 8 am!? We are approaching my third summer in Japan and it is unseasonably hot right now. We barely had a rainy season (which sucks for the rice farmers) and have seemed to fast forward into the summer heat. If July is this hot, I have bad bad feelings about August. I dont even HAVE air conditioning in my apt. It's usually not hot enough to worry with but I have a feeling I'm going to be missing it this year.

walking shoes and asahi. i'll always remember this day in shinagawa when serious words were said, tears were cried, kisses were felt, laughter was heard and a bond was created by separation. kampai... 

I have a new favorite thing! Today a bought a reclining chair and ottoman for my living room. I've been sitting in it since I walked in the door.

I've heard it all...

I have been too busy recently to keep up with the news but I am so glad I took the time to read today. While browsing through the Yahoo! News "Oddly Enough" Newstories, I found this one about German female officers who have won the right to NOT wear their uniform caps because the women complain they (drumroll please) "ruin their hairdos". Now if that ain't some Black people mess. I mean I know the German's aren't black but couldn't you just see some of the NYPD Black female officers being like "uh-uh, I just got my hair did".

Then there was an article about the strike on the tubes in London. In that one, perspective was the main thing that stood out to me. The reporter interviewed a few folks who were all stressed out walking to work because they were hours late, the streets were crowded, the buses were packed, everyone is stressed out...and then you have the word from the dude who works at the lotto booth. The lotto dude is like "I'm enjoying it. Seeing all the people walking around, the weather's nice, jumping from bus to bus...I just find it hilarious". One man's tragedy another man's comedy.

As my friend S. Mo would say "PIIP-Put it in Perspective"

Ja...

I don't know if its just my body finally slowing down from a helluva a month but I'm sooo tired! Yesterday I fell asleep twice at school. Once at my desk and once while my student was giving a presentation. I don't know if anyone saw me, but I was embarrased. Then today after lunch, you could have called it a day because my brain would not work at all. I'm not going to soccer this week so that I can rest a little more in this week (plus Erin Brockavich is coming on BS2). I hope I get back to my normal energy level soon. I have a week of Elementary school lessons next week and those kids need my full energy.

As if the lack of energy thing isn't enough, I think my acute bronchitis has come back. In February I had what I thought was just a bad cough, and turned out to be bronchitis. They put me on loads of meds and an inhaler and it went away. In the last 2 weeks, the cough has come back and I thought it was just due to me not resting but the school nurse seems to think its the damn bronchitis again. I'm heading to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning (finally) to see what's going on.

Well The Monk is on, and I can't stand to miss an episode so I must give Adriene my full attention. Til the next time.

Ja ne...

okay so, now that i know how this thing works i'm going to be a picture loading fool! here is a photo of Kris and I at a 70's party on Saturday at the Vault in Kofu. 

QT and I riding on the Yamanote Line in Tokyo. Part of my summer of fun in the city! 

Summertime in Japan! I swear there is nothing like it. Okay, yes there is. Summer time in Chapel Hill. Okay nah, its a little different, well its a lot different. Damn what am I saying here?

I've been having a very good time recently. Hanging out with my people who are about to leave Japan, kickin' it in Tokyo on the regular, going to meetings, and finishing up projects at work. Its been a good but busy month, June has. And on top of that my friend G found this link to a online newspaper called the Asahi Newspaper here in Japan, that interviewed me a while back. The article is all in Japanese so my people from home can't read what it says but its basically just an interview about my life. How I ended up in Japan, what I do at school, what kind of things I'm interested in and what I want to do in the future. I would be cool to post that stuff here, but nah...I'll let the pages of my life unfold through my blog.

I always say I want to get better at blogging more regularly but I really mean it now. Even if they are really short, there is always something for me to say every day. I promise to make the time to share more about my life and continue writing the story of my years in Japan.

How it ended up at years, when I thought I'd be around for one...I have no idea. Micky D's time. The have this new burger called the McGrand that is very expensive for the burger itself and ridiculous for the set, but its very tasty. Tanoshimi!

Ja...

How appropriate! Since my last post about victorious soccer tournament in Tochigi, it is now time to prepare for another winning post about Nagano! We've got a tournament this weekend and we are really siked about it! We've got 3 teams going this time, one that is a strong team and 2 mixed ability teams. Some girls from Niigata didnt have enough folks to play so we are splitting our girls down farther so they can join in. We only play 6 a side so you dont really need 11 girls anyway.

Other than that I've been pretty busy with JET stuff. There is a Re-Contracting conference next week where I am in charge of presenting a workshop on "Using Music in the classroom at Junior High". The handout in itself is keeping me quite busy, but its all my fault for waiting to the last minute. June is just getting started but it will be a long month. Let me get to it. Ja...

Yatta! Yamanashi is moving on up. My soccer team placed 2nd out of 9 women's teams in the Tochigi Football Tournament this weekend. We did really well. I'm so proud of us. The last time we placed 3rd. This time 2nd we are certainly trying for the championship again!

We played a total of 5 games including the championship game. Scored 15 goals and only allowed 2. The same team that beat is in the earlier rounds, we met again at the finals and lost 0-1 just as in the first game. It was very well played and although we didn't win the big trophy we did well.

So now everyone is siked about the June tournament. Plans to train hard and all, but we'll see how much of that actually comes to fruition. I know I always say how hard I plan to train my body but never really do and get sad when I get to the tournament and can't run around! LOL. All in all I'm pleased with the weekend. I always look forward to hanging out with Yamanashi JETs. They are such a blast. And we have really great Japanese friends that play with us who keep the party jumpin!

You ever feel like you got something to say to someone who isn't ready to hear it. . .well I do. And moreover, I'm not sure if i'm ready for them to hear it either. But you listen to everything Diary-san so here goes:

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you


I know, not my words at all. They are those of the great Lionel Richie. I'm there with him though...I'm right there.

Today I pray: for the safety and health of the ones I love.

A friend of mine asked me today to define freedom. I'll give my answer but a few others before that:

"Freedom is the distance between church and state." ~

"Freedom is the ability to make choices about the direction you want your life to go in
and the ability to affect changes on your life." ~AxInNitsky

"Freedom is 2000 lbs of explosives. Only if its our bomb though, otherwise its terror." ~ US Gov't

"Freedom can be defined as that state of being which is characterized by a knowledge of absolute truth and a responsible adherence to and application of that truth. " ~Mary Ann Diorio, Ph. D.

I'm at school today. School doesn't actually start back until the 6th but I have some "preparations" to do for the new school year. Well...I SAY I have some prep to do but all I've been doing is chilling and chatting. Catching up with old friends, returning emails, and doing a little work in between.

I had a great conversation with my linesister V about christianity today and her beliefs. She feels like she's getting stronger and has more faith and is really excited about her new revelations and I'm happy for her. I on the other hand feel like I'm questioning my reasons for calling myself a christian. I feel I'm ready to do that. I enjoyed talking to her because she didn't make me feel like I was wrong or unfaithful for having questions. Some christians try to make you feel bad like God is going to spit or you or something for wondering "why"? I can't remember what I asked her but I was like "That just doesn't make sense to me" and she came back with the most christian response "Lean not unto your own understanding" .

Today I pray: with thanksgiving in my heart for having good friends. People who won't leave me when I'm confused or shun me when they don't agree with my thoughts. People who love me unconditionally and always will. I've been blessed with great people and great friends and for that I'm thankful! Amen.

okay, can you really be hungry when you buy dinner and leave it in the car? only to realize 1/2 way thru the 8 o'clock movie that you are extremely hungry and can't figure out why?

i'm BAKA!

-----
its been way too long since i've journaled. its strange but i feel like when i have time to journal i'm doing the most to be my best. its like i'm my best listener. i'm cool! i'm ready to be different. i'm ready to get rid of a lot of the anger in my spirit. i'm ready to feel happier (not that i'm sad, but there is always room for more) and whole. so, get ready to be my ear again!

Today I pray: to learn how to be committed to something. I have lots of temporary spirts of wanted to dedicate myself to different purposes, but what I'm lacking is the necessary drive to commit to bettering EBONI everyday. So my prayer is for dedication to be committed to ME! (smile!)

After all those months of studying and sacrificing hot parties and fun in Tokyo I got my results back from the Japanese test I took in December...

I PASSED!!!! You only needed at 60% to pass (which is low) and I got about 81% Here are my scores There were 3 parts to the test. :
1. Writing/Vocabulary 72/100
2. Listening 96/100
3. Grammer/Reading 158/200

Total: 326/400

YEAH!!! Go Eboni. I feel good.

did you know? in Britian Black folks celebrate Black History Month in October? Yup, they do. http://www.black-history-month.co.uk/

i found out tonight from one of my most reliable line sisters that the reason i was tripping all last week is probably because of the birth control i'm taking. its three levels of hormone and it is know for causing high numbers of depression in women who can't take or arent used to the hormone. isn't that wild? why didn't anyone tell me that before i started taking this shit. try to protect yourself from having kids and go dammit crazy in the process!

well i'm back to the good ol' E. not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing but its better than that nutcase i thought i was last week. she isn't sure but my body might get used to the hormonal changes. i sure hope so. i'm tired and haven't finished my plans for tomorrow's lesson, BUT...do i ever? off to turn on the heaters in my bedroom, shower and get ready for bed.

BB is taping the superbowl for me even though i watched it (kinda) on ESPNgamecast and listened on FieldPass by RealPlayer. It was so good to listen to I can even imagine how nice it will be to watch! Even though my boys didn't win, I still want to see the game.

being a contact wearer my eyes blur if i don't blink often enough to keep them wet. i don't know if my involuntary actions have slowed for some reason but recently...when they start to blur...i just let them blur. why?

wow. this is probably the longest moodswing/i hate people phase i've been through in a long time. i'll be spending a lot of time by myself this week, all of next week and the week after. i want to go skiing the first weekend in february but my finances may not allow. at the same time i just am not feeling being around people.

school was okay. i had kindy kids. they are always lovely. but they just made me think about my niece and my sister who i miss. my godbaby who will be 1 year old March 18th and I still haven't planned what I'll do for her yet.

i just feel this planning thing. i have to plan what i'm doing this weekend and all the weekends until school is out. i want to plan bb's bday shindig. i want to plan what i'm going to do after i have to leave JET (since i have decided to stay another year). i need a plan for every fuckin' thing and that's getting on my nerves.

i need a new friend. i said it tonight to BB as a joke, but i think i do. he's always tired and i'll wanna talk and i can hear in his voice that he is ready to go or that there's something else he wants to do. which is fine because he works hard and deserves his evening time, but i guess that's how it is once you get comfortable with someone. they don't have to try so hard to be interested. not that he is disinterested, but not so much as he was. i need something new.

my friend said yesterday that she thinks the song by Vivian Green "Emotional Roller Coaster" was written for her. I think it was though. for her and every other woman/man that is able to feel. sometimes we think its a bad thing to be unstable emotionally, but i don't think it is. i think what's bad is not being able to control it once you feel like it starts to get out of hand. i don't have to be happy all the time. i don't HAVE to have it together all the time. i don't HAVE to smile all the time. i don't HAVE to be a people person all the time. i just know that when i'm having the "I can't stand people" minutes, hours, days that i need to be by myself and not subject others to my moods.

why was in the post office today and some strange guy who i don't know comes up to me and asks me how much money i make? here's a reinactment of our convo best i can remember:
Asshole: You've got a big salary don't you?
(it was a dude who lives in my village but you don't go around asking folks about their salary! even folks you know and I didn't know this dude from a can of paint)
ME:I get paid. I'm not sure if its what you'd call a lot or not but i get paid.
Asshole: Yeah, i know you do get paid. What? Like 300,000yen a month?"
ME: How much do you get paid? Do you talk about your salary with strangers?
Asshole: No..not really
ME: Then WHY are you asking me about mine? I get paid. I'm not telling you anything else. Goodbye.
ASS: stands there looking like the freak he is with his mouth open as I walk out

where are interesting folks when you want someone to chat to? why am i sitting here thinking "why don't i ever know exactly what i want but i know exactly what i don't want"? why aren't there any English programs on TV tonight until 10:10pm? why must i be forced to watch movies i've seen a million times already because there's shit on tv? why are people "renting" their children to smuggle crack internationally? why did i get an email from RR today and almost cry when i know i don't want him in my life anymore and am glad that i've moved on? why do i call someone i don't really want to hear from just for the confirmation that i really don't want to hear from them?

"you're weird" says BB on IM. and he's right. I am weird. Sometimes I puzzle myself.

Had another "selfish/weird" E moment. I was reading emails from an old friend of mine. Back during the time while we were "courting" so to speak and I really wanted to hear his voice. So, I called him at home. Missed him. Left a message. Then I called him at work. No friend. Left yet another message. Only this time I said some crappy Love Jones bull like "I'll call you again another time, and I'm going to keep calling until the next is the right time." Well then I went to bed and woke up to and email from him. Lots of unimportant filler then the "I'm going out of town this weekend with (drumroll....) my girlfriend." And then the sealant "I just smiled because my first thought was, 'Damn, Eboni sounds like a grown-ass woman' ".

At the end of it all, we do end up chatting on IM for a minute when he tells me that this girlfriend of his is "THE ONE". He's my boy. I don't like him like that. I should be hella happy for his old ass finally finding someone who was ready when he was....but that's not how I feel. I'm not HATING but I can't put my finger on this emotion. Then it hits me. I don't want him, but I want him to want me. I don't intend to pursue him because he doesn't want me but I think I feel a little empty in some way because he doesn't want me. Is that wrong? Is that selfish? HELL YES. But let me feel like Tony Rich cause nobody knows it but me. I'm not dying inside, don't get me wrong. But there is a little strange feeling there.

Okay, since my last message things have gotten much much better. My travel partner met up with me a few days later and now we're back in Singapore. Malaysia is a very very Muslim country and Kuala Lumpur the capital city has the largest population by far of practicing Muslims so getting their groove on isn't the highest on their priority list. So, what you have is a big ass city with lots of potential for fun and trouble but sad to say...its a bust.

During the day you've got plenty of shit to do. Walking around viewing mosques, museums, cultural shows etc, but when its time to go out...it leaves much to be desired. The alcohol is very expensive and when you go to the clubs they have this weird thing where you get 30 mins of DJ 30 mins of a live band ALL NITE. who the hell wants to hear Malaysian Hootie and the Blowfish/Santan Wannabees all night long? NOT THE KID!

So...I'm anxiously awaiting returning to Tokyo and being with my peeps. I'll enjoy the day life here and hang around the Inn Crowd (my backpacker which is PHAT by the way..www.the-inncrowd.com) and drink with the other packers at bars in the area.

Hittin' the manmade beach this morning and a few rounds of mini golf (which is about all the golf i can manage) and maybe seafood for dinner.

E

i had quite a rough experience last night. when i got
to the airport in singapore it was about 1am. i did
got my bags and went out of the customs area like a
dummy instead of staying in the travelers area where
the couches were. see the plan was to find a comfy
place to crash until the AM when I'd venture into town
and find a train up to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. So, I
couldn't find anything comfy anywhere and read as long
as my eyes would stand it then tried to lay down on
this hard 4 seat row. slept for a whole 30mins then
decided i'd need a plan B! so i hung around up there
til 4ish and read more in my lonely planet guide book
that the first train up to KL is at 642 so i took a
cab to the train station at that time. come to find
out the schedule from the book was way way way old and
the station doesn't even OPEN until 7am. plus between
the hours of midnight and 6am the cabbies charge 50%
MORE than usual. so here i am at the closed train
station at 4:30am (by my watch) which is really 3:30am
here. so i go in an open outside coffee shop (it was
sooo humid this morning) get a snack and and sleep til
6:45. at this time I still don't know the first train
isnt til 915am. i need a shower. i'm hot and havent
slept well, they open up and break the bad news to me.
so i ask them to watch my backpack and i take a walk
out in the city to find breakfast and calm my nerves.
that was nice. great looking city too. i'm looking
forward to finishing my trip up there, even though
yeah i know, i'm just getting started. i got back in
time for the train took my seat and headed up to KL.
Didn't arrive in the station until 3:30 and am just
settling into my room here at Pondok now at 5pm.

I'm going to repack my things, shower and go get some
grub and maybe find some mischief! I deserve it!!! I
also just got an email from my traveling companion
Takeyah and she is stuck up in Bankok and wont be down
here til tomorrow night so i have the rest of the
night and all day tomorrow to piddle around alone and
find fun. YEAH!!!

Traveling alone is different, but cool. I'm sure the
adventure is just beginning.