Yeah! Its FRIDAY!!!! I have made it in sound mind and body from Monday until now and I still feel pretty darn good. I guess I'm excited about the weekend and getting to hang out with BB again. He told me that we are going to celebrate my birthday this weekend because he won't see me on my actual birthday. We are going to see STOMP in Tokyo. That should be fun, but I'm curious as to what else he has in store. This weekend is also a big Samba festival in Tokyo. Erica and some of my other peeps are going up there to check it out. Chiba Mo is back and I think Erica will be with her most of the weekend. BB told me that there is a "Outback Steakhouse" in Chiba and we're going there for dinner tonight. YEAH!!!

I had the funniest experience yesterday in class. I went to the Elementary School that I like the least but still ended up having a good time. I dislike it because the Vice Principal and Principal are just asses that's it. No more no less. The teachers are cool, the students are fun and seem to like me, its just I don't like dealing with the VP and P. They suck. Anyway the 1st grade teacher Arai Sensei is my favorite! I went by her class and one of my favorite little girls, Hina, was in there CRYING. So I stopped and asked what was up. Arai Sensei said Hina didn't understand the lesson so she started crying. Then Arai sensei busts out laughing saying, "Look at her crying. Hina, you see Eboni? She is watching you cry? Do you like that?" I think she had try to get her to stop and to see how silly it was for her to be crying for nothing. And then I started laughing. I couldn't help it. So then she told Hina to show me her picture she made. I was asking her questions about it and she would spit out syllables between her wails of crying. It was so funny. She was sniffling and trying to catch her breath and would say "my sister" or "my father" or "fireworks" describing her picture. It was great. There are only 3 students in her class including her so the other little boys were trying not to laugh to make her feel bad but we don't want her being a cry baby. She stopped after a while.

The second hilarious thing was in my lesson with the 1st and 2nd grade class (I teach them together) one of the 2nd graders Yuichi had to use the bathroom, #2. We were right in the middle of playing "What time is it Mr. Fox?" when Yuichi tells Arai Sensei that he's got to go do #2. So she makes him come to the front of the room in front of everyone and say, "Eboni, excuse me but I have to use the bathroom, is it okay if I leave to go do #2." He got so embarrased by the end of his little speech I just laughed and said "Go Ahead". Then Arai sensei told me that he always has to do go #2 after lunch or his stomach hurts really bad, but he never takes time to do it during his recess. She's so funny!!! I love her.

Anyway, the weather is great today and I'm feeling good. I just had a great lesson with my 1st graders and hope to have just as good a lesson with the 2nd graders and I'm done for the day. Yatta!

I'm SLEEPY! I should have started getting up early a while back to train myself for this TORTURE! I'm so used to sleeping in.

Today is a pretty busy day for me. I have elementary school lessons in the morning, then the training meeting for the new ALTs at 1:20, then if it isn't raining I'll go for a run, come home shower and then off to my hair appt! Ryuta (my hair dresser) was supposed to do it last week but he had some family issue and wasn't able to so today is now D-day again. I think part of it not happening last week has to do with this law in my life: If I tell a lot of people about something big I expect to happen on a certain day at a certain time, it never does. I'm not sure why it happens like that. Maybe its God telling me I need to keep my business to myself or something, but at any rate that's pretty much the law with me. I didn't tell many people this time. Actually I probably only told three people. So we'll see if something dramatic goes down or not. I'm definitely taking before and after pictures. Pretty much like I did when I get my hair relaxed in Tokyo last October for the first time since I had cut all my hair off. And of course as if my scalp knows what day it is, it wants to act crazy and start itching like there's no tomorrow. Me and this head of mine. I'm glad I'm not a person who is really big into hair. I like for mine to look nice but I don't really fret over it. (did i really just say fret?)

I'm awful at preparation and have gotten used to being able to "wing it" in class and at meetings. Its like I WANT to be prepared, and I have a few ideas on HOW I should be prepared but it doesn't usually work out with me preparing way way in advance. Like for today's workshop...I grabbed a bunch of my materials from school to show them and I've got some ideas written down. But that's about it. I'll do a little more when I get to the elementary school...maybe...I think it will be fine though.

Today I pray: that I still have a head full of hair by the end of the day. It may sound like a silly request but I was told in my prayers that I should name it and claim it. I want to have all the hair on my head and these chemicals will not tear up my skin or my hair. I pray that you work while he is working hard Ryuta to make my beautiful. This is the first time for him too so give him confidence in what he is doing so he won't be nervous and mess anything up. Thank You Lord! Amen.

This Japanese Proficiency Test is going to be the death of me. I went to my japanese lesson last night and was so saddened and determined at the same time. It was like my big wake up call that if I am going to pass this test, its going to take a lot of dedicated studying from now until the time I take the test. i have 3 months and 1 week until the test date: December 7th. After I left my lesson I felt like I needed a little cheering up so I called BB. First I sent him a c-mail seeing if he was busy and letting him know that I needed a little moral support. He's sweet when he wants to be and called me right back. He basically told me what I'd already told myself but I just needed a little attention and to share my emotions. Its really cool having him in my life right now. I'm supposed to be going to visit him this weekend but I've told him that I have to make sure I get some study time in each day I'm there. He's fine with it. He wants me to do well on my test also since I show so much desire for wanting to pass. I just know that last night was my realization that passing this test is going to take some serious work on my part. My Japanese teacher is all gun-ho and has offered to give me extra lessons if I need them and extra help whenever, so that's great.

I've started running. I always used to just take off running or walk running when I wanted to get in some good exercise or felt like I had a lot of energy to spare but I've been the last 3 days in a row and I hope it keeps up. I was actually sad when it started to rain because I was afraid it was going to keep up all day. Right now I'm only running about 20-30 mins with a short break after about 10 mins to get in a good stretch and catch my breath. After that first breath and wind I can go for much longer. Its so funny because I've always been told that I have an athletic looking body and I've always enjoyed sports, I'm just not really good at any one thing. And since I've been pushing myself to get out to the park to run I've been feeling even better. I have a bad knee that really needs to be strengthened so I'm not walking with a cane by age 30! So I've got determination. I just can't sit around and let my youth go to waste, now can I?

Today I pray: for endurance. I have a lot on my plate right now with the private English lessons, my Japanese lessons and this proficency test, my desire to keep exercising regularly, and just every day stuff. I pray that you continue to bless me with the strength to handle all that I have going on in my day to day life. Endurance to run the proverbial race. I praise and thank you for all you do in my life everyday! Amen.

okay. i didn't have to cut anyone. somewhere into the morning the water came back on. there is still some part of the school w/o it but the teachers bathroom and teachers room are cool so that's all i worry about. yokkatta!

its so funny walking around down stairs where there aren't many classrooms and going upstairs where you can tell from the smell that hits you as you ascend that kids are around. i mean, maybe some children aren't allowed to wear deodorant until they get into high school or something but their parents need to stop. I know about four kids in each class that need to sit all together and smell each other. then maybe they will learn hygiene a little better. but you know what, they might just think its someone else's odor and not theirs. someone needs to tell them for real. the teachers here do a lot more parenting than we do at home but at least teachers i was taught by wouldn't let me walk around like that. its just foul to everyone around.

all summer (which is a month for us) my school has been under construction. they are doing some things to bring it up to code before changes are made school system wide. today i came into school as usual for the first day of classes and sat down at my desk for the teachers meeting and got a HUGE surprise. the water is off here and has been off since Saturday. so you wonder what's my issue? since we can't use the water, we can't use the toilets either and these crazy mfs done told me that we are going to have to pee in buckets! that shit is wild. I WONT be doing that. I'll take my ass home first...it will be interesting to see how this day turns out. Also its hot as hell so we are going to be drinking water so we don't pass out...*shakin my head* this is going to be funny.

I saw the most BEAUTIFUL thing today....I navy blue billboard with the words "RED LOBSTER" glowing in neon red. Pulling up to the parking lot I felt like I was driving down MLK Blvd in Durham on my way to the Red Lobster there. It looks a lot like that one. Anyway, Charlotte and I met there for dinner tonight. Its only like 30 minutes from my house but its kinda pricey. I mean the wait staff uses the highest level of politeness when they speak and give the real DEEP bow when they leave the table and stuff. Its supposedly a really "Posh" place. Its not a place that you go just to be going, and I don't think it has discount crab leg night or shrimp fest like that do at home. Its very different actually. They don't even have cheese garlic bread! Keysha says that its not even a real Red Lobster w/o cheesy garlic bread. I'd have to agree. I wasn't totally happy with our meal but I did have some interesting shark sticks with batter and sweet and sour sauce. Quite good, but I have to be honest...I was a little worried when we ordered them.

Please tell me WHY I slept on the Justin Timberlake CD. That CD is GREAT! Its my new favorite CD. I know its old as crap to everyone else in the free world but I just got put on. I'm mad at every person who mentioned this CD and never made me go out and get it. *arms folded, lips poked out*

Today was the last day of the Japanese English Teachers workshop. I'm GLAD its over, but I really think that some of the things we talked about stuck with the group. It was good for the new people to interact with Japanese Teachers who they will be working with in the classrooms as well as get a taste of their levels of English, their behavior, the way they lesson plan and such. I also enjoy meeting so many people. I was a group leader for all 4 days of the workshop and that was nice too. I really felt "in my element". I studied communications and people in college so it was strange but I felt like I was actually qualified to be doing this type of work. It only confirms the fact that my college years and degree were not wasted and I am using some of that stuff I learned along the way. Thanks UNC!

I got a phone call from the International Division of CLAIR the other day and one of the PC's called to ask if I would be one of two journalists for this International Bi-monthy Newletter for the December edition. Its 2 pages and can be about anything I'd like to write about. What an honor huh? I was really flattered that they even asked me. Trenya gave me a great idea on what to write about. I'll talk about the JETs of African Descent group. I'm going to start working on it soon since I'd like for a few people to have a look at it before I turn it in to be translated into Japanese. Anyway, I'm looking forward to writing. Its been a while since I wrote anything that would be close to worthy of publication...gambarimasu!

Tonight I pray: thankful for being brought through yet another glorious day. Even when its gloomy outside, I have something to smile about. The blessings just don't end! Thank you Lord for the people who have prayed for me today and for those who have thought of me as a blessing to their lives. Thank you for helping your vision for my life to become a little clearer everyday. I also pray for a restful sleep and that I wake in the morning refreshed and ready to face my last day of summer holiday before school begins again. Thank you for a blessed relaxing summer. Amen.

I've stayed away much too long. I have been having these really sleepless nights lately and its freaking me out. I mean, its not like every day or anything but its at least once or twice a week I'm up until like 3 or 4am, not tired at all and cannot fall alseep. A friend came to say with me this weekend and I tired so hard to be quiet but I'm not so sure how successful that was. I told myself its because I haven't been journaling my thoughts like I should but I believe its much more than that. My mom and I were thinking it may have something to do with my summer lifestyle. Although I have been quite busy, at the end of the day I'm not as physically drained as I am during the school year so I can't fall asleep as easily. That may be it, but if so we'll see soon enough because school begins on Monday for me.

Having said that...this is my last weekend of summer vacation and I need a GETAWAY. I was thinking about going to the G-unit as BB calls it to visit E. She wants to go up to Nikko Castle and waterfall in Tochigi-ken. I might check that out. See if we can hook up with any of the JETS AD in that area. Still undecided, but definitely going somewhere!!!

I hate backtrack blogging so I can't literally catch you all the way up on the events of the last 9 days but there are a few things that are certainly worth mentioning:

My SOCKS came today!!! I asked a friend of mine to send me some socks and Fruit by the Foot fruit snacks and they've arrived!!! YEAH!!! The box went to the BOE and they called me twice on my cell phone to let me know that a box had arrived. That made me totally happy. So here I sit, at 4pm on a Tuesday afternoon in my tshirt and panties and white Hanes socks eating fruit snacks. It truly is the little things!!!

My visit this weekend was totally amazing. I was surprised because I didn't really think that BB and I would have such a good time or enjoy each other so much, but we really did! It rained from when he arrived on Thursday until sometime during the day on Saturday. All of the fun outdoorsy stuff I had planned...cancelled. We had to go into town on Friday to get groceries and my VCR died so I needed to get a new one. That turned out to be a wild goose chase, but finally after spending about 4 hours looking for one, I finally found one. I was amazed at how difficult it is to buy just a VCR nowadays. Most things are sold as a DVD/VCR combo or just DVD. I guess I need to join the 21st Century...but I happen to like VHS. Well, anyway after that we got the groceries, rented some movies, and came back here. We cooked dinner together (mostly him, I just did the salad and took the potato chips out of the grease) and watched TV, listened to music, drank and went to sleep. The next day was pretty much the same type of relaxing stuff, slept late, cooked breakfast, read, watched movies and then went out to the movies and for drinks.

Its funny how you reall don't expect certain folks personalities to mesh well at all but his and mine do. Its good to have someone like him in my life right now that isn't as far away as RR is. What is it w/me and these same letter initialled people? Anyway, it will be interesting to see how things pan out. We won't see each other again for a while and we are sure to be around other people that know us both not just in our own little world like we were this weekend. Either way it works out, he's a cool guy so I hope the friendship remains.

I got a new phone!!! Its real cute. And it has a camera on it although I didn't really want one with a camera. It doesn't really matter because its cute and I love it. Now I am going to try to see how I can get a moblog going as...queen T says.

Today I pray: for a restful nights sleep. Its already been a busy week and whatever it is that is keeping me awake at night, be it that I'm not talking with you enough Lord, or that I need to drink warm milk, help my spirit to be soothed enough to sleep well so that I have energy thru the day. Amen

i got up this morning, hung my white clothes out to dry, took out three SWV CDs and put them in my stereo, set it for random, and took my seat at my computer. i have these strange morning routines, but they can't get started good until the music comes on.

the weather hasn't been bright and shiny but definitely warm the past two days. dark weather makes me sleepy and unmotivated. i remember once in college i told my friend tami that whenever it rains i have the most awful days and i couldn't really figure out why. she was like "oh virgos are just like that". from then on i just expected that when it was rainy on the outside i'd feel rainy inside too. then years later she told me "girl, i just told you that so you'd have an explanation for how you were feeling. i didn't know you were going to take it to heart." (insert Deneice Williams) "silly of me, to think that i could ever" (/Deneice)....trust the word of a friend.

you know, i realized that although i'm a curious lady, i don't ask as many questions as other people do. and I don't live in this world of IF that so many other people do. when you have a conversation and half of it is laced with "What if" questions...i think you may be dealing with someone who isn't ready to deal with day to day. its the what ifers and the day-after-dwellers that i come in contact most but who annoy me most. this may be bad to some people but i live in the day that i'm experiencing mostly and actually a whole lot of forethought is a little troublesome. if you're wondering where all of these random thoughts come from, trust me they do have a source.

i have a friend who i've been talking to on a regular basis for the last week or so and he is planning to visit me this weekend. let's call him B. i think we'll have a good time together but i really need him to lay off the future questions. i don't know what i'm eating for breakfast (its 10:17am) so i sure don't know when i plan to get married or when i'll leave japan or when i'll have another boyfriend. sometimes i think B just asks things to hear himself talk and hear my reaction but he'll learn soon enough. i'm just not a way ahead planner. some folks have their whole lives mapped out something like....
graduate from this university with this GPA, go on to this grad school where i'll meet Mr. Right, we'll go on to date for a year and then he'll pop the question, we'll get married the next year, we'll move in to our house (our wedding present from his parents), then we have to live together for 2 years at least before we can have any kids, but after that "baby r us"!!!

Wouldn't it be grand if shit really worked like that? Now that same sweetheart who had it all mapped out...her life probably took turns in it like...
graduated from that university with that GPA, went off to Grad School and met Mr. Right, got knocked up after first semester, he stayed in school, i got an apartment and worked at JC Penny's till the baby came, he hit me with some that ain't my kid shit, i hit him with the courts and child support payments, now i do the best i can by me and my son that look just like his damn daddy....what happened to the life i planned for myself"

I was on the phone with E until like 2 am this morning laughing and joking. That is my girl! We have so much fun together. It is soooo nice to have a friend you can talk seriously with, party with, laugh and joke til 2 o'clock in the morning with. E and I have made such leaps and bounds together as friends in the past year. I hope we continue to grow individually as well as closer as friends.

Today I pray: once again this week with thanksgiving in my heart for allowing me to have such awesome people in my life. When my family wasn't around you provided me with people who took me in as daugther, sister and friend. You have always blessed me with great people from all walks of life and for that I say, thank you! Amen.

"I hope one day I can throw myself into the air and get caught up in the wind as well. " ~B

A friend of mine from college saw my Black Planet page where it talks about my job here in Japan and a few places I've been and he wrote that note to me. My favorite element is "wind". I speak of it a little bit on that page, I guess that's where he got that statement from but there is something about it that made my heart leap. Here I am hoping to get swept up in the wind, when I'm reminded that I'm already caught up! Who knew!

Speaking of Caught Up...I'm almost out of breath right now. Its rare that I browse through BP like I used to, but I decided to check out my friend Jz page and let me just say that LA has been good to HIM! I mean, he has always been fine. Gorgeous face, nice body, great hair....but modeling and acting is being very very kind to my boy. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get to LA sometime soon! (Smile) Its weird thinking that one of my old boo's is about to be somebody big. He told me he's been doing some ads and a little sitcom acting but right when he made his big move to Cali, I made mine out here and haven't been able to see any of his work. I'll have to give him a ring soon and see if he is still extending his invitation for me to head out there for a visit. fingers, toes, eyes, ears crossed!

Things with me and the friend I prayed about the other day are back to normal. We had a talk and I'm not sure how much things will change but things are cool. Its so strange how imbalanced I tend to feel when things are not right around me. *As i reach back and feel Gye Nyame* I remember God has it all in his control.

this is so strange! its like mid-august (ok, not quite) and summer has finally begun. we haven't had weather like this all summer and now that summer should be on its downfall we are getting all these high temps and gorgeous sunny days?!? oh well, that's when i turn and look outside and realize i'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

i went walking with keysha yesterday and get the strangest suntan lines i've ever had! i had on this belly shirt and sports bra and my pants hung so that half my tatoo was covered and the other wasn't. it looks so strange! the top of gye nyame is brown, the bottom is yellow. anyway, the walk was right on time because i needed to get some of the physical tension out that has been building up for a while. i dont know how i'm going to feel playing soccer again after being out of it for so long. i found this park that's got two swimming pools one indoor and one outdoor. i left my one piece in NZ when i went so i'm working with a two piece but i hope it will be okay. i really need a new suit but they are impossible to find here with out two cup sizes worth of "filling" and long enough to fit my torso properly. by the time i go home again, no one will be buying suits so hopefully i'll be able to find something...but that's months away.

my aunt IMed me today. i haven't talked to her in months. she gets so worried when she doesn't hear from me but i try to tell her that no news is good news. which with me it is. i'm really bad at getting back to folks sometimes. they also got used to me being the one who sends most of the emails but once my schedule started to fill up i didn't have the email time i used to. i can do better though. i think sometimes only a "hey, how are you? I'm good" works for them. she was telling me about some issues she and my uncle were having. i swear sometimes i really think seriously about marriage and am sooooo glad i didn't get married young like a lot of my friends and family. i need every moment of these years that i've been out here. its perfect for me. i couldn't see it any other way. i mean, i love RR and all but marriage?!? i'm just not in that mindset at all right now and i'm glad that he isn't either. What a RELIEF!

i still haven't had the heart to heart with my girl yet but at least we are speaking again. our schedules haven't permitted us to talk just yet but i'm sure it will happen soon.

Today I pray: and thank God for all the beauty around me. My life is full, my cup is overflowing, and I am blessed. Thank you for showing me the beauty in things that seem unattractive. Thank you for allowing me to be a blessing to others. Amen.

last night was the welcome party for the group B arrivals in yamanashi. we met at the train station and walked over to the restaurant. we did an all you can eat and drink there for 2 and a half hours and then moved the party to a sports cafe up the street. our yamanashi AJET organization (YETI) was the sponsor (though they didn't pay for anything) and since I am a officer for YETI I was the host for this party. out of all of the things i've had to plan thus far and "host" this was the LEAST taxing of them all. everything was wonderful. the amount of people who said they were going to show up did. no one had a problem with pay for the set (4,000yen nomi-hodai/tabe-hodai). someone had a birthday and sarah, a third year, brought him a small tart which we put candles on and sang Happy Birthday. just a great time.

one really peculiar thing was this japanese woman i met who continually spoke to me in FRENCH! her boyfriend is from France and is working as a CIR here so they usually speak French to each other. she can't speak english so I kept trying to tell her that its much better to speak to me in japanese. but she wouldn't!!! until finally i asked her boyfriend why she kept speaking to me in french and she said it was because most foreigners she meets cannot speak Japanese but some know french. we finally got the communication thing down but i just thought it very odd at first.

i had way to much to drink last night for the fact that i still had to drive. i mean, i wasn't incoherent drunk, but i did have to pay more attention than i usually do after a night out and being slightly sleepy. i usually don't drink when i have to drive home but i figured if we started dinner at 7 by 12:30 i'd be okay. i'd only had a few glasses of wine anyway. maybe not enough water. i got here safe though and prayed most of the way here no cops would come by.

i'm supposed to be going to play soccer today with some folks but they want to bbq and stuff after and I have my japanese lesson today. i haven't been in 2 weeks because of the Tokyo Orientation so i need to make my way down to her house. i'd love to go kick around but my studies come first (yeah right! when have i ever said that!!!)

Today I pray: for patience and clarity of thoughts. A friend of mine and I are sort of at odds and we need to get over this hump. I ask for the patience to not become frustrated by things I do not understand and clarity of thoughts so that my words flow freely and are acceptable to her ears. Amen.

reflections of the last year...this week has been so strange for me. exactly a year and one day since i arrived in the village of kamikuishiki i find myself having these deep reflective thoughts of where my life was just a year ago.

i arrived at the international center in kofu, yamanashi on wednesday august 6th. a group full of anxious looking japanese faces greeted us. some with signs welcoming their new person, others only fixed on the bus trying to see if they could spot the foreigner who would be a part of their community for the next year. only this time, no one was there waiting for me to get off the bus. i was the cheerleader..."its going to be fine" "they'll love you" "call me if you need anything". i got off the bus and looked around at all of the nervous faces, not sure if they should bow, shake hands or give out omiyage on the spot. it was so funny. like looking at an out of body experience. the voice in my head quickly reminded me: this was you one year ago.

having decided to come to japan, i felt like more of the underling among my linesisters. three in law school, three pharmacists, two nurses, a dental hygenist, a high school teacher, a few in grad school...and lil ol' E, the one with no real direction but loads of "potential" decides to take herself to Japan to pursue this lifelong dream of visiting the far EAST. who knew that after one year i would have grown so much personally and professionally? who knew that something that seemed like a whim turned out to be the greatest experience and most growing year of my life? who knew that I would be the one giving advice and having people hang on to every word of my experience? who knew that i would still be here working on year #2?

not I said the little yellow girl. not I.